Sunday, July 8, 2012

What I cant is...!!


"I am a boring personality. I cant deliver the punching-lines. I cant make you smile. I cant show you my care/love as I am emotionless. Shortly, I didn't deserve for..........."

I am 24 now. I gained millions of experiences in my life. But still, I didn't learn some things in my life. So many Cant's had left in my life. Probably, it is my intention that I want you know about me. Mention: ABOUT ME.

I know the perception changes for every individual. What you may love, others can't. But He left some people with the same tastes to become friends. And He made a stage for everyone. What the truth is,  I didn't showed well my part on that stage. Sadly, My School Life is one of those stage. I didn't marked myself, I led a stranger role till my 9th standard. Of Course, Surroundings/Living place is the main culprit. But suddenly, I stood in between the rankers. Placed at 6th. As a student, I made a mark "A Benevolent Guy". But, after my secondary, just checked myself, does anyone stood behind me(to share, to care, to love). No one.

Intermediate - Thank God, I have my tenth mate besides me. But I didn't entertain him. We are not of the same shoes. My fault is 90%. In that short duration, I didn't make other friends too. I am insipid.

Graduation - When the brain got the ages, I have a strong belief, I am in-born Introvert. I tried to maintain that attribute. But at last, I found some people as friends, who aren't my type.

Now I figured out, the fault is in me. My Expectations. I need a friend who calls me on one day and ask sole fully about me. Mention, Only about me. Of Course, I welcome for their needs/expectations, but this is not what I am expecting from my side. OK. Have an example, after so many years, one of my friend called me, asked for others number and hang down the phone. That's it. Am I Telephone Directory?? After that, I stopped collecting friends' numbers. I don't need the friends like them. But what the bitter truth is "Real is always one step down of our expectations". So, this is my curse.

So, what I cant is a normal "friendship". Mentioned in the first lines are my weakness.